


Not Me Without You

by BastRavenshadow



Category: due South
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 11:30:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11919972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BastRavenshadow/pseuds/BastRavenshadow
Summary: He looked up into Fraser's eyes and said, "I'm not me without you."





	Not Me Without You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jersey_Lion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jersey_Lion/gifts).



"This is Constable Benton Fraser and Diefenbaker's residence. Please leave a message at the tone." 

*beep*

"Uh, yeah, hi, Fraser... I was hoping you'd answer. I'll try to call you later. I... um. Never mind. Bye." [click]

*****

"Kowalski. Leave a message."

"Ray, I was just returning your call. I do hope you're doing well in Chicago. It's... I... [clears throat] I hope you're well. Dief sends his regards. Goodbye, Ray."

*****

"This is Constable Benton Fraser and Diefenbaker's residence. Please leave a message at the tone." 

*beep*

"Sorry Fraser, I didn't hear my cell. I was at Mom and Dad's - I was helping Dad and didn't realise I had a call until we sat down for dinner. Seemed strange without you there. They asked about you. [pause] [sounding strained] Mom wanted to know if we had a fight. [pause] If we broke up. Guess so, huh?"

*****

"Kowalski. Leave a message."

"Hello, Ray. I'm glad to hear you're all right. I'd quite forgotten that it was... that I was calling during your family time. Please give my regards to your parents. [pause] Yes, I suppose it is, in a way, breaking up. It certainly feels... very much so, yes. Almost like what I imagine a divorce being like. [pause] [speaking briskly] Yes, well, enough of that. You made your... opinion... of me quite well known, and now... well, now I'm far enough away from you so I can't hurt you anymore. I'm sorry Ray."

*****

"This is Constable Benton Fraser and Diefenbaker's residence. Please leave a message at the tone." 

*beep*

"What kind of bullshit is that? Far enough away where you can't hurt me? What bullshit! God, Fraser! I never wanted you to leave. Never. Damn it, Fraser... what did you expect me to say? [murmured voices in the background] Have to go, Huey needs me to help him in Interview Four. Call me. [pause] We need to talk."

*****

"Kowalski. Leave a message."

"Ray, I don't know what you want me to say. You said no. I thought that was the end of the subject. As far as I could tell, you were quite adamant in saying no. You said no repeatedly, I might add. I don't know that we have anything to talk about."

*****

"This is Constable Benton Fraser and Diefenbaker's residence. Please leave a message at the tone." 

*beep*

"Did you only hear **half** of what I was saying to you? When I said no, I also said it wouldn't change things between us, that it didn't change anything. You make me **insane**. [sounding furious] *click*"

*****

"This is Constable Benton Fraser and Diefenbaker's residence. Please leave a message at the tone." 

*beep*

"Look. Let's work this out. Call me. Please."

*****

"This is Constable Benton Fraser and Diefenbaker's residence. Please leave a message at the tone." 

*beep*

"Fraser, I've left messages for you everywhere. Where are you? Are you sitting there, listening to me, not picking up the phone? You're pissed at me. Aren't you? C'mon, Fraser. Jesus. Pick up the phone. Or call me ba -" 

Fraser sighed as he picked up the phone, interrupting Ray's message. "Ray, I simply can't understand why you continue to call."

Ray shifted, hunching over slightly, his voice quiet. "Maybe because I need to. Maybe I want to."

"Why?" Fraser asked, his voice flat. 

"Open your goddamn door," Ray ordered, his voice equally flat. 

Fraser opened his door and stared at his best friend standing there in front of his house, bags and boxes and suitcases surrounding him. The cordless phone in Fraser's hand fell, bouncing down the steps to land at Ray's feet.

Ray bent down, picked it up and pushed the 'off' button. He looked up at Fraser and, looking serious, said, "I told you no, but now I'm saying yes."

Fraser stepped out of his house and walked down the steps to stand in front of Ray. "And why? Why would you say yes now?" Fraser's voice broke. "You said -"

"I know what I said. I was wrong, Fraser. I was so fucking wrong," Ray said, his voice low, looking down at the space between them. He looked up into Fraser's eyes and said, "I'm not me without you."

Fraser didn't say anything, he just looked back at Ray.

"I was scared," Ray admitted. "And I was wrong."

"Ray, I understand it's not your nature to love another man," Fraser said quietly.

"Maybe I love you too much, you ever thought of that?" Ray asked, sliding both his cell phone and Fraser's cordless phone into his jacket pocket. "Maybe I love you -"

"Stop it, Ray. Just... stop it."

"I can't stop it, Fraser!" Ray shouted. He stepped closer to Fraser, so close that they were almost nose-to-nose. "I've tried to stop it! I **tried** to stop it when I said no. I tried to stop it when you left. I tried to stop it with a new partner. I tried to stop it at night, in bed alone. It won't stop! I can't stop it, and I **don't want to stop it**." He gripped Fraser's biceps. "Tell me again. Say it again, and I swear to you, I'll say yes."

"I can't say it again, Ray," Fraser said with a slow shake of his head. "It's not in my nature -"

Whatever he was saying as Ray's mouth fastened over his, was lost. 

When they broke apart, Ray leaned his forehead against Fraser's and said, his voice weary, "Ask me again."

And Fraser did. 

"Could you love me, Ray? Will you be mine?"

"Yes."

And he was.


End file.
